I couldn’t wait to sink my teeth in, so I took a bite of it as soon as I opened the package, but I immediately regretted that and decided to eat my Taco Supreme in its entirety first.

Taco gone and Tortada still there, I added some hot sauce and proceeded to eat what I knew I couldn’t like. First of all, I am funny about chicken. It has to really look like chicken and taste like chicken. The chicken in this Tortada was more like a mixture of Spam and wheat gluten. It barely looked like chicken; instead, had a grill mark here and there (probably from a sharpie) and noticeable swiss-cheese like holes. The taste? Oh, yuck. Was that a Taco Bell or a Nutri-system meal I just ate?

Okay, so the only other thing I saw or tasted on the Tortada was the “Salsa Roja.” What did I think about it? I love it…when it is called “Fresco salsa.” They really do have all kinds of names for this stuff, don’t they? But seriously, I do love their pico style salsa and I’m glad it was on my Tortada.

Oh wow, they took the crunchy out of a cruchwrap, added some bacon, and gave it a Taco-Belled-Out name for “Torta.” I’m talking about the new Tortada at Taco Bell.

The other night, I surprised Baja with a Bacon Ranch Tortada for dinner, via his request. You know, the whole, “I don’t know what I should get - surprise me!” dialogue. Here are some of the comments I witnessed:

 "A quesadilla! No, wait, it's just in a quesadilla wrapper." 

 "Bacon? Hmm. There may have been some on there..."

 "Oh yeah, I think I tasted some ranch."

To me, the thing that most stood out was how crunchwraplike it is. I get what they’re doing; emulating a torta in their own way, but part of me thinks it is just time for the Bell to bring some real bread into the picture (a la the Bell Beefer days).

Starbucks is the star: Celebrate their Free Pastry Day on Tuesday, March 23rd by printing this coupon and giving it to a barista, along with your beverage order of choice.

Don’t forget: there are two more Mondays left in March— That’s two more days to get free coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts.

Dunkin’ Donuts - Stop by DD on March 15, 22, and 29th (Mondays) and receive a free coffee or iced coffee. No purchase is necessary(but you know you want a doughnut!) and the neat thing is it is one free for each person in your vehicle. So round up the kiddies and bank on this freebie!

Starbucks - This is Week No. 1 of Starbucks’ Bold Coffee Passport promo. Ask a barista for a passport, and go on a coffee journey trying each bold coffee-of-the-week for just $1.50. I had the Yukon today and it was a pleasure. 8 Weeks total in this promo. Try all 8 and receive 1 lb. of your favorite for free!

I had the Pacific Shrimp Taco from Taco Bell yesterday. Six plump and tasteful shrimp adorned what could have been a Fresco taco (what with the presence of pico-style Fiesta Salsa) and also included our fast food nation’s beloved ranch dressing. The number six did stand out, as it was plastered all over the promo menu that six shrimp is what you would get. All questions removed and whiners beware. It was bigger-than-the-tortilla taste (literally; only three of my shrimp actually fit onto the taco. The other three served as happy little lagniappe. Fine with me.) And I thought it was a fine first approach at seafood by the bell. But the price sank the bouy; one taco for $2.79?

Backyard Burgers - Receive a Buy One Get One coupon for the new Bacon ‘n Blue Burger when you sign up for their EClub. Note: This coupon also ran in the Red Plum mailer that arrived in the mail this week.

Captain D’s Sign up for their D’s Club and get free Fish & Fries or free Chicken & Fries. Sorry, no free Fish & Chicken.

Long John Silver’s Register to play the “Spin and Win” Fish Fry Game and you will receive a coupon for Free Crispy Breaded Fish. At first I thought this to be a little lame, but as a new Facebook member, I am now exposed to various occasions of people asking for help to build their barn or buy pigs so I figured hey, dipping some fish should be pretty tolerable in the web world right now. Especially if it scores you real food.

This is the first time I have gone on record to say this; but, I have worked at a McDonald’s before. I was never beaten by a manager, but they did ask the newbie (me) to clean the bathroom on my first day. Other than that, everyone was nice. I was offered some chicken nuggets out of a coworker’s pocket.

More on my flashback saga some other time, but for now, I just want to say I feel really bad for this McDonald’s employee.

Yes I took the nuggets.

Okay, so I’ve finally gotten off my high-horse and decided to join the masses that are facebook frenzied. The irony? Facebook won’t accept Backyard Blogger as a real name - I’m a real person, I promise! - so I have now a Facebook Page instead of a Profile. Sorry, everyone, I really wanted to friend you, but instead I’m just asking you to fan me. I’d give you the particulars on how to do that, but I am sure all of you know this better than I would.

This guy, Patrick Lin, is reintroducing doughnuts to China in a clever way: with diamonds, pearls, and ethnic ingenuity. Apparently, Dunkin’ Donuts has given it a couple tries, but the country just never caught on. Doughnuts are bready. Why would they pay a decadent price for bread? They will, if that bread is fashioned into a bracelet, complete with baubles and shiny lacquer. Based on a Japanese recipe (but don’t tell the Chinese!) these sweets can effectively answer one country’s craving for delicacy and indulgence. And so, with coffee-drinking on the up-and-up in China, these sweet jeweled desserts are sure to rise to the occasion. Rise and shine, Mr. Lin, it’s time to fake the doughnuts!

Valentine’s Day is THIS Sunday. In case you haven’t booked a restaurant, have little money to do so, or if you are married to a one Backyard Blogger,White Castle has just what you’ll require. Reserve your table for two, which will be complete with candles and flowers. Oh, and you won’t have to wait in line for your Sliders; the Castle will also spoil you with tableside service on this lover’s eve.

If you like nuggets and the Spicy Chicken at Wendy’s then this is for you: Wendy’s new Spicy Chicken Nuggets for 99 cents.

Go here for a coupon to get 30 of KFC’s New Fiery Grilled Wings for $19.99.